Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
ChicaGoGetter - MM
"NBC NIGHTLY NEWS WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS" SPECIAL FIVE-PART SERIES "AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN: WHERE THEY STAND" TO AIR BEGINNING ON MONDAY,NOVEMBER
Throughout the week of November 26, "NBC News With Brian Williams" will take a look at the issues facing African-American women across our nation in a new series"African-American Women: Where They Stand." The series will cover a wide-range of issues from their role in the '08 Presidential race, to the increased health-risks that they need to be concerned about.
Monday's installment will discuss African-American women's progress inthe education field. Nearly two-thirds of African-American undergraduates are women. At black colleges, the ratio of women to men is 7 to 1. And thati s leading to a disparity in the number of African-American women who goon to own their own businesses. Rehema Ellis will talk to educators, students and businesswomen about why this disparity exists.
Tuesday, Ellis will look at the relationships of African-American women. Many agree the gender disparity in education and business among African-Americans is having an effect on relationships that African-American women have. Some even say the implications could redefine "Black America's family and social structure." In the past fifty years, the percentage of African-American women between 25-54 who have never been married has doubled from 20% to 40%.(Compared to just 16% of white women who have never been married today). Ellis sits down with the members of a Chicago book club and talk about this difference and how it impacts them.
Dr. Nancy Snyderman will discuss the increases risks for breast cancer for African-American women on Wednesday. Mortality rates for African-American women are higher than any other racial or ethnic group for nearly every major cause of death, including breast cancer. Black women with breast cancer are nearly 30% more likely to die from it than white women. Premenopausal black women are more than twice as likely to get a more aggressive form of the disease. And, not only are African-American women more likely to die from breast cancer, but they're less likely to get life-saving treatments. Dr.Snyderman will profile one of the only oncologists in the world who specializes in the treatment of African-American women with breast cancer.
On Thursday, Ron Allen will take viewers to South Carolina -- the first southern primary state -- and ask the question: Will race trump gender or gender trump race? In South Carolina, black women made up nearly 30 percent of all democratic primary voters in 2004. This year, polls show a significant number are undecided, torn between choosing the first African-American or first female Presidential candidate. Allen talks with the undecided, as well the state directors for the Clinton and Obama campaigns, who happen to be African-American women.
To close the series on Friday, Dr. Snyderman will raise the frightening statistic that African-American women are 85% more likely to get diabetes, a major complication for heart disease. And, like breast cancer, more black women die from heart disease than white women. Dr. Snyderman will profile a leading expert and a unique church-based outreach program in South Carolina that seeks to spread the word about heart disease risks to black women congregates.Mara Schiavocampo, Digital Correspondent for "Nightly News," will address two hot topics in the African - American community: interracial dating and the impact of hip hop music on black women. Interracial dating is a growing trend in the African - American community. An Essence.com poll found that 81% of participants approved of black women dating non- black men. According to a U.S. Census Bureau report in 2000, 95,000 black women were married to white men. In 2005, that number increased to 134,000. Schiavocampo will talk to experts about the trend and discuss how this defines the"Black family" of the future. Schiavocampo will convene a panel of leading black men and women from the hip-hop industry for an engaging discussion on whether hip hop lyrics and videos positively or negatively affect black women. The roundtable also will address how these portrayals are affecting relationships between black women and black men.Consumers can go online to join the discussion and share their thoughts on message boards. They can also read and respond to blog entries athttp://www.nightly.msnbc.com_/ ( http://www.nightly.msnbc.com/) .Alexandra Wallace is the executive producer of "NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams." Bob Epstein is the senior broadcast producer, and Rich Latour is the senior producer for this series.NBC News' home on the Internet is _http://www.msnbc.com_/(http://www.msnbc.com/) .For more news and information about "Nightly News," please go to_http://www.nightly.msnbc.com_/ ( http://www.nightly.msnbc.com/) .
Thursday, November 22, 2007
RD, Chief Chica
Let me first tell you all that I am truly thankful for you're friendship, and I love you. Early this morning, I was one of several who helped to feed over 400 people who are severely economically challenged. Therefore, regardless of their race, ethnicity, age, or gender, they have been push to the furthest margins of our society. In essence, these babies and adults, sad to say, are often considered the bedrock of our society and at the back of many minds. The one ray of sunshine I did notice is that although these people have been marginalized by the community, they have an internal vigor that appears to be steadfast and un-waning. Moreover, you may want to know, our brothers and sisters who -for reasons unknown- hang in the balances of America's withering economy, neither asked for any type of monetary contributions, nor did they seam to want any future hand-outs.
I point this out because many of us who are "fortunate" may believe that by merely donating money to a cause that we've done our share; unfortunately, that may not be the case! Don't get me wrong donating money helps, yet the majority of time, our disadvantaged and disenfranchised brethren would like to simply know people care about their well being. In general, they want to see people who are, relatively speaking, doing well come and show their support by lending a helping hand, conveying they haven't been forgotten about. Please keep in mind this week when you're nestled closely with the ones you love--family, that these people are some one's daughter, son, niece, nephew, mother, father, aunt, uncle, or friend.
Family and friends, I strongly urge all of you to take a small portion of your time over the upcoming holidays and help someone less fortunate than you. Its truly worth it and does your soul well! Thank you for taking the time to read this.
With my warmest regards,
Antoine L. Jennings
- A great group of friends
- Good health
- Peace of mind
- Good jobs
- Graduate school
- Friday night spa parties
- Saturday night pole dancing classes at FlirtyGirl
- BRUNCH, BRUNCH and more Brunch
- Spiritual fellowship
- Awesome books
- Laughter amongst girlfriends
- The ability to dance a good jig every now and again
- Life and Living
From us to you - Happy Turkey Day Chicas!
XOXO -The ChicaGoGetter Team
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
For some of us, in our quest to have and hold such a person we end up as LAMES wasting our time with LAMES! Yes we said it LAMES. For one, some of the flyest Chicas out there tolerate some pretty slick guys (those who lie, cheat , mis-represent) based on the idea that there is some male shortage. Oh the lies we choose to believe. Some Chicas get on a mission to find a man that has all of the trappings of success (the clothes, the car, the degree from that school, the perfect address) because they believe that there are just a select group of men who can meet these standards. On the other end of the spectrum, because some women choose to believe this, some of the men who may have these THINGS feel as if these things give them the right to womanize, pimp, and lie. Its almost as if we create the monsters. Just to clarify, we know some AWESOME successful men in Chicago who are honest, sweet as pie and EXTREMELY picky about the women they spend their time with, as they should be. We applaud those guys. One thing that we've realized is that we may not be able to change LAME guys, but we can offer some advice for LAME Chicas. We apologize for using the harsh term toward our own, but if you are in the business of tolerating foolishness that inevitably makes you a fool as well. Additionally, if you expect to be treated like a Queen, Chica you should position yourself as one! No real man is going to tolerate a woman perpetrating perfection!
SO HOW DO WE HELP?
We want to tackle this in three parts 1) An excerpt from the best-selling book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo He's Just Not That Into You. We chose this after hearing some heart-breaking stories from Chicas who have found themselves in some bad relationship situations. (Check out the excerpt below)
and 2) Tomorrow we'll provide you with a list of required reading for Chicas on the come up. They will touch on topics relevant to the mind, body ans soul!
Finally, 3) On January 1, 2008 we are introducing a FRESH NEW series for the GoGetter community that will help you jumpstart your year and as one of our favorite Chicas KB says will have you, "Getting On Some Get Right".
Excerpt from He's Just Not That Into You
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Chapte One: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out -Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out
Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world." Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we're "too shy" or we "just got out of something." Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.
Now you begin the life-changing experience of reading our book. We have put the stories we have heard and questions we've been asked in a simple question-and-answer format. If you're lucky, you'll read the following questions and know what they are: Excuses that women have made for their unsatisfying situations. If you're not so lucky, we've also included handy titles to clue you in.
The "Maybe He Doesn't Want to Ruin the Friendship" Excuse
I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. Well, Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?
Dear Friendly Girl,
Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. Can you be a pal and give him a nudge? Nudge away, friendster — but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call. And if your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "(expletive) buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.
I hate to tell you, but that whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves — we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. And please, don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he's scared of — and I say this with a lot of love — is how not attracted to you he is.
The "Maybe He's Intimidated by Me" Excuse
I have a crush on my gardener. He's been potting the plants on my patio. It was hot, I saw him without his shirt on, he was hot, and now I'm hot for him. I brought out some beers and we talked. I think he wants to ask me out but is afraid, because he is my hired man. In this situation, can't I ask him out?
Dear My Secret Garden,
He's capable of asking you out. Haven't you ever seen a porno? Hope he gets there before the pizza guy. But seriously, if he didn't pick up the vibe after the beer garden, it has nothing to do with you being his big boss lady. Time to stop and smell the bad news: He's just not that into you.
Let me say it again, sexual harassment rules and workplace memos notwithstanding, a guy will ask out a woman of higher status if he's into her. He might need a little more encouragement than normal, I'll give you that. You might have to lead Johnny the Office Boy or Phillipe the Exterminator to water, but you better not help him ask you out. Once again, ladies, a wink and a smile will do it.
By the way, why are you dating the exterminator?
Just kidding, he's a good guy.
The "Maybe He Wants to Take It Slow" Excuse
There's this guy who calls me all the time. He's recently divorced, and in AA. We got back in touch recently, had lots of phone calls, and then hung out twice in one week and it was real cool. No flirting or making out or anything, but fun. Since then, he calls me all the time but doesn't ever suggest we see each other in person again. It's like he got scared or something. I would understand if because of the divorce/alcoholic/starting-a-whole-new-life stuff he wanted to take things slow. But he still calls me all the time to have long heart-to-heart talks. What the hell should I do with this guy?
Dear Pillow Talk,
Sadly, not wanting to see you in person is massive as far as dating obstacles go. And as far as the recently divorced/newly sober/starting-a-new-life parts, blah blah blah, I'm getting sleepy, it's hot, I'm going down for a nap. When I wake up from that nap I'll probably thrill to the news that your friend is taking control of his life. You, however, will still not be going on a date, because despite all your excuses for him, he's still not asking you out. Now, if you're a person who enjoys a slightly satisfying phone relationship, talk on! But at this point it seems like he's just not that into you. Be his friend if you're at all interested on that level, but move your romantic inclinations onto a more suitable future husband.
If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won't keep you guessing, because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away.
The "But I gave him my phone number" excuse
I met a really cute guy at a bar this week. He gave me his number and told me to give him a call sometime. I thought that was kind of cool, that he gave me control of the situation like that. I can call him, right?
Dear Control Freak,
Did he give you control, or did he just get you to do the heavy lifting? What he just did was a magic trick: It seems like he gave you control, but really he now gets to decide if he wants to go out with you — or even return your call. Why don't you take Copperfield's number, roll it in a newspaper, pour milk in it, and make it disappear.
"Give me a call." "E-mail me." "Tell Joey we should all hang out sometime." Don't let him trick you into asking him out. When men want you, they do the work. I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out.
The "Maybe He Forgot to Remember Me" Excuse
Okay, Greg. Listen to this one: I was at a conference for work and met a guy from another branch of my company. We hit it off immediately. He was just about to ask for my number, I swear, when the Big Blackout of 2003 happened. In the mayhem, I didn't get to give him my number. I think the Big Blackout of 2003 is a good enough excuse to call him, don't you think? It's only common courtesy for me to check up on him, right? If I don't call, he's probably going to be all sad thinking that I'm just not that into him.
Dear Judy Blackout,
The city blacked out. He didn't. You said you work for different branches of the same company. Certainly he wouldn't have to break a sweat to scroll through the company staff roster or interoffice e-mail listing to find you. And should he not be as resourceful as you are...I imagine that he has a mother, sister, or female friend that could show him how, if he was really interested.
P.S.: Shame on you for using an eastern seaboard disaster as an excuse to call a guy up.
Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time. Know why? You are great. (Now, don't get cocky.)
The "Maybe I Don't Want to Play Games" Excuse
This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tons of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?
Because we don't like it. Okay, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think you might want to be realistic in how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature.
Or maybe you're the chosen one.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children — sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.
IT'S SO SIMPLE
Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept — that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out.
HERE'S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD, by Liz
Well, it's obvious. Are you telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I don't know about you, but I find that infuriating. I was brought up to believe that hard work and good planning are the keys to making your dreams come true. I spent my life making things happen for myself. I worked hard for my career, and was quite aggressive about it. I called people, made appointments, asked for favors. I took action. But now Greg is telling us that in this situation, we are supposed to do absolutely nothing. The guys get to pick. We're just supposed to put on our little dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us. Why don't you just tie my corset too tight so I can faint in front of some man who'll scoop me out of the way just before the horse-drawn carriage runs over me? That'll get his attention.
Really, in this day and age, the hardest thing to do for many women, particularly me, is nothing. We like to scheme, make phone calls, have a plan. And I'm talking about more than just making sure our hair doesn't frizz. Most women who date, I would guess, don't have men throwing themselves at them every night of the week. Sometimes there's a long stretch during which nobody's asking us out. So when we see a guy that we feel might be a romantic possibility, it's even harder for us to take a backseat. That opportunity might not come back again for a long time.
But guess what: My way? Has sucked. Hasn't worked at all. I've never had a successful relationship with a guy that I've pursued. I'm sure there are many stories out there to the contrary. But for me, those guys end up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time for themselves, or going out of town for business. Usually it doesn't even get that far. They usually just don't ever return my phone call. And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel very in control of anything.
Since I've been implementing Greg's handy-dandy "he's just not that into you" philosophy, I've been feeling surprisingly more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There's no scheming and plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
THIS IS WHAT IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE, by Greg
One night I was drinking in a bar and flirting with the bartender. I asked for her number. She said, "I don't give out my phone number because guys rarely call me when they say they're going to. My name is Lindsey Adams, and if you want to call me, find my phone number." Which I did — the very next day. Do you know how many Lindsey Adams there are in the phone book of a major city? Let's just say I talked to about eight or nine before I found mine.
An actor we work with met a girl while he was making a public appearance on an aircraft carrier. He lost track of her in about ten minutes. And yet, because he was so smitten, he somehow managed to track her down in the army, and they are now married.
GREG, I GET IT! By Leslie, age 29
Greg! I get it. I went to this party and I met this guy. We started talking immediately by ourselves, off in a corner. He asked if I was single and seemed pleased when I said I was. Whenever we split up to talk to other people, or to get drinks or whatever, he always kept his eye on me. It was really cool. I was all excited and fluttery with that "Oh my God, I think I just met someone!" feeling. He didn't ask for my number, but we know lots of people in common, so I thought he was just playing it cool. He never called me! And you know what? Normally I would call our mutual friends and start fishing and trying to figure out what happened and maybe try to find another way to see him again. But instead, I'm just going to move on! Who cares what his deal is. He's not asking me out, so why should I start obsessing over him? I'm just going to go out tonight and try to meet someone else.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE GREG
We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages twenty-six to forty-five), who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, "It would have spoiled all the fun."
What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter
• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."
• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.
• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.
• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
• You are good enough to be asked out.
Our Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook
Hey, what's a self-help tome without a workbook? Our chapters will all be so brave and wise that we want to make sure you retain as much of the brilliance as you can. So for all of you who feel the need to get out of your problems and into your crayon box, have at it.
Greg and Liz
Remember in grade school how they told you not to write in your textbooks? Screw that! Grab a pen and list five reasons why you think you have every right or good reason to call him.
Put the book aside and wait an hour. Or at least ten minutes. Then ask yourself: Do I seem pathetic? Do I sound like someone who doesn't trust my own innate hotness? Yes,you do! Now put your dialing finger away, get out of the house, and go find some fun.
P.S.: You just did a workbook exercise about a guy who hasn't even extended to you the energy of a phone call. Why would you want to chase that down?
Text copyright © 2004 by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
We had a request from a young GoGetter pulling an all-nighter in her office today who is also anticipating an even longer day tomorrow (we've been there before). She said, "Please pull together some throwback tracks." Well, just for you Chica we've pulled together a list of some of the best hits that includes everyone from Issac Hayes to Diana Ross. Enjoy your Friday GoGetter Mix Chicas!
The ChicaGoGetter Team
The weekend is slowly creeping in and we have a spot that you definitely won't want to sleep on! Ballo.
Ballo is an Italian restaurant and a member of The Rosebud Group (owners of Rosebud, Carmines, and Rosebud Steakhouse). For less than $20 you and your Chicas can enjoy some of the greatest dishes this side of Italy. Our ChicaGoGetter menu pick are the tasty "Mama's Meatballs" . Positioned as an appetizer, these Hand-Rolled Veal & Beef Meatballs also come with Ballo's signature "Sunday Salad" and is a meal that is big enough for two. We also loved the expansive wine selection and the HUGE deserts.
The atmosphere is lively and is great for groups.
To reserve a table or to review the menu a table click here
445 N. Dearborn
Chicago, IL 60610
Mon-Thurs: 11:00am to 11pm
Fri: 11:00am to midnight
Sat: 3pm to midnight
Sun: 3pm to 10pm
The ChicaGoGetter Team
Check out this "How-To" from MakeUpMaverick. She has some step-by-step tips to make sure your brows are looking fab!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Guess who's gracing the December cover of Ebony? The king of Pop himself (perfect timing for our Prince vs. MJ battle). Say what you want about the ever elusive MJ and his looks, but we have to hand it to Ebony for snagging him for their cover. They have been on their A-Game for the past few months. They've had some really memorable covers starting with the beautiful Raven Simone cover of the March '07 issue.
Way to represent for Chi-City Ebony and Johnson Publishing!
As promised, its day two (the finale) of the Prince vs. Michael Jackson series. We've received several notes with YOUR opinions on the classic debate. So far it looks as if our readers have love for both of these legends, and for different reasons (one Chica referred to Prince as the "Architect of Seduction"). We've also found that there are some die-hard MJ fans who can't wait to see our list. Check it out. We had fun making it and we hope you have fun listening to it!
A quick refresher on how to use the GoGetter mix:
Click the "play" button to hear the songs. Use the navigation bar on the side of the list to scroll through the songs
If you want the list as a stand alone player on your desktop click "launch standalone"
The ChicaGoGetter Team
Monday, November 5, 2007
The age-old question...one that has caused many-a-debate late into the night after a game of spades...who is better/more talented/a larger legend..Prince or Michael Jackson?
We're playing it extra neutral, but you decide who you like...Last week we brought you "A Case of the Mondays" to get your week started on a good foot. This week we're bringing you Prince vs. Michael Jackson! We did a coin toss and Prince is up to bat first. Check out these tracks and have a smile on us. We'll bring you some hits from MJ tomorrow, and you decide!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Chicas! You won't believe who graced Chi-City last evening...(okay so the post title probably gave it away)...the one, the only Amy DuBois Barnett! She made a special trip to Chicago to launch her new book Get Yours! The Girlfriends Guide To Having Everything You Ever Dreamed Of And More. After being a fan from her Honey magazine days, meeting Amy in person was an amazing experience and the highlight of my week.
The event was held in the loop in the offices of Ariel Capital Management (professional home to the super intelligent, highly accomplished, inspirational ChicaGoGetter-esque Mellody Hobson). Tons of folks turned out to celebrate Amy's accomplishments including our friends at myFashionation!
I was able to snag the book when it first hit stores and reviewed it here. I even snagged copies for some of my closets friends (they love it...perfect Holiday gift for your nearest and dearest).
I had a chance to speak with Amy for a short time and she left me with a piece of advice that I will carry with me for life , "Make promises to yourself and keep them!". This is something she clearly lives by!
Amy, your book is truly a gift! Thanks for sharing your life and experiences with Chicas like us!
RD - ChicaGoGetter